Why The Name?

Sprinkle Massacre [spring-kuh'l mas-uh-ker]

noun, verb

1. the unnecessary, indiscriminate spilling of a large number of sprinkles.

2. an overabundance of sprinkles on a meal, dessert or not.

Here is an explanation of my somewhat obscene sounding name. Once you hear the background, I am sure you’ll enjoy it as much as I do.

I live for peanut butter, well, food really. I gawk over sweets, salts, food in general. However, my affinity for fitness and a healthy lifestyle is just as prominent. I’m basically that girl who goes to the gym 6 days a week but can also scarf down as much food as her boyfriend. By the way, Joe’s gym and eating habits mimic mine, which is probably one of the reasons we get a long so well.

So back to the peanut butter. I’ve always loved it, but once Joe and I meshed our absurd obsession with whip cream and sprinkles, it was over. We usually enjoy a protein shake after the gym, followed by a little something that looks like this:

• Skippy Natural Peanut Butter (the original, but we have since ventured to many other brands)
• “Bakery Fresh” Sprinkles: We still wonder what makes them “fresh”?
• Frozen Fat Free Whipped Topping, Stop & Shop brand, it’s cheaper
• A spoon (please see below)

It’s all downhill from here. With no portion control, it’s a Sprinkle Massacre, as Joe named it.

Unfortunately, I gave up Peanut Butter for lent when I took this picture, but there would usually be a heaping glob under the whip, since the correct order is PB, whip, then dip in sprinks. I promise I will provide a gluttonous picture of what it usually looks like.

The second part of my story may be even better. One day, while lying in bed, Joe came in the bedroom with a look of guilt on his face. This was right after I heard some noise going on in the kitchen that I couldn’t quite figure out.

“It was a sprinkle massacre”, Joe said.

As you can see from the pictures above, the sprinkle containers are quite odd and hard to open. Apparently Joe was so anxious to get at them that while attempting to take the lid off, he spilled an entire container ALL OVER THE KITCHEN FLOOR. We lost all of those poor little guys. Sprinkle-less, for a week, until I made my weekly grocery store trip.

So, now does the name sound better? I hope you enjoyed!

Edited to add: a true pb, whip, and sprinks spoon picture.