I’m not even really sure where to start with this post. This is definitely going to be more on the personal side, so if you have no interest, come back tomorrow!
Maybe this is coming out because I have so much…’unfinished business’ in my life and it’s building up. If you’ve been following me for a while, you can probably pinpoint a few things that I began to pursue and never brought to fruition, or I did and then immediately switched gears.
I tend to have a negative perspective on certain things and I cause unnecessary anxiety about the future. In other words, I make a big deal out of something that ends up being the smallest task ever. This affects me in a number of ways, including everything from my work and career to cleaning the house to my blog.
I don’t really want to rehash all of my career changes again, but I have become more and more aware of all of the opportunities I’ve passed up. I know, I’ve taken so many great opportunities, but how many have I passed up because of the fear of sticking to something that was hard?
Nothing comes easy and to succeed you need to put a lot of time in. I know this and I always have, but when you are in the situation, it’s a lot easier said than done.
Guess what, I am still paying for the Institute for Integrative Nutrition every month on my credit card. It wouldn’t be so bad if I’d actually used the material. I mean, I have all the resources to be a health coach but when you see all of the work that goes into it, it seems daunting. I mean, starting your own business? Even my blog, I’ve paid for extra work on my design, bought into workshops for better blogging, and I still find myself at a standstill. I have so many ideas for what I want to do, but I look in to the weeks ahead and know how little time I have, which discourages me from even starting to make a change.
I have these grandiose plans in my head that almost seem like an impossible undertaking, so I just give up. I set myself up for failure by looking at the end product, and not taking it step by step.
I was reading Caitlin’s post the other day about taking an idea and actually making an impact with it, and it kind of got me thinking about most individuals who start up their own business or take on these large projects feel. Most big ideas, inventions, or businesses started with one small vision and someone feeling totally overwhelmed and helpless. She started Operation Beautiful from a simple idea. I’m not the only one, and not everyone has it together. Why didn’t I take the opportunity to start my own business as a health coach? Or why haven’t I progressed this blog as much as I wanted to? Why haven’t I been able to complete that half marathon I’ve been wanting to do or commit to the fitness goals I’ve dreamed of? Or hey, why haven’t I used my outside knowledge to do bigger things with my current job role?
It all comes back to that negativity. I’ve felt like I don’t have what it takes, I don’t have the knowledge, or I wont have the time. It comes off as being lazy, which is so far from the truth. I overwhelm myself and cause anxiety before even getting to step one.
At the end of the day, we don’t have to do things we hate. We should only fill our lives with things we love to do. I’m not always the best at juggling priorities, but every person is different. I value time with my family, time to take care of personal things, hell, time for myself. I believe in a hard work ethic, but there is only so much time each person can dedicate to progressing themselves, and I find that when I overwork myself or pile on my to-do list, things are less likely to get done because I’ll panic.
That being said, my top priorities are my family (this includes Joe and my close friends), my job, and my well being (which includes health, working out, eating right). Whenever I have a to do list, blogging is the last thing to be checked off. There’s nothing wrong with that, and it is what it is. I can only do what is best for me and what hopefully relieves stress and adds more positivity to my life.
I’ve taken many hiatus’s from blogging, and that is not what I intend to do right now. During this past week’s work trip, someone said that you should “intend” and not “hope”. My intention is to bring serious awareness to (myself….and you) the fact that I need to focus on what is important. I truly appreciate all of the opportunities that have come my way because of it, which is why I don’t intend to stop all together. I’m not preaching about taking a step back, quitting, or what ever else you’ve heard from other bloggers with the same thoughts. I am simply saying “it is what it is”, and that is a hobby, and not a priority.