I just finished a phone call with my health coach that I’ve been assigned to through IIN. It left me thinking about a lot of things. I’ve already had some recent concerns, but this phone call really affirmed that I need to work on some parts of my life.
Why am I not a fashion buyer anymore? How did I end up working at Joe’s restaurant and why do I still feel just as overwhelmed working part time as I did full time? I seem to have forgotten why I am here in the first place. I left my job to become something else.
I’m not just working a part time job. I am…
- helping with bookkeeping for more than one restaurant (hoped for 15 hours, completing about 4)
- serving “part-time” at the restaurant, anywhere from 29-35 hours a week
- studying to become a certified health coach through IIN (average 4-5 hours a week, non-negotiable module time)
- studying to become a certified personal trainer (7 hours a week preferably, but has fallen to more like 3)
- maintaining my blog and managing it’s social media platforms (attempting to do everyday, but sometimes that extra hour every day just doesn’t fit)
- taking care of the house: laundry, cleaning, and grocery shopping (average 3-4 hours a week and needing a lot more!)
- trying to fit 6 days of exercise in (6+ hours) a week
Well, it’s no wonder I feel so overwhelmed. When I look at the hours I am holding myself accountable versus the hours that are realistically happening, it’s not physically possible. Maybe for someone else, it is. Joe works somewhere around 70 hours a week, plus more if you count the phone calls and days that he’s supposed to have off and doesn’t. I am the first one to talk about how absurd it is for one person to have this much stress and pressure and not give themselves any “me time”, yet I am doing it to myself.
I can sit here and pretend I have my crap together, but I don’t. And I won’t portray a misleading image to you guys, either! I am expecting myself to give 70-80 a week in total of a combination of focuses, but realistically I can only give about 45-50 hours before “me time” starts getting cut out of the picture. How can I possibly give all of these areas of focus enough time? Something is going to take the back burner, or like I portrayed above, everything takes a hit. A few weeks ago at the event with Harley Pasternak, I told him how I was studying for 2 things and asked for his advice on becoming a personal trainer. What he said really resonated with me. “Instead of being good a a few things, excel at one thing”. I can’t possibly give my all to everything on my list.
On my days off, I give myself an agenda and find it hard to sit still. I feel guilty if I’m not being productive the entire day. I said to my health coach that it seems like I do have more time than when I was working full time so why do I feel like I am not accomplishing a lot even though I am always busy and I rarely take time for myself. And by time for myself, I don’t mean the 30 minutes I read blogs over breakfast in the morning or the hour of TV in bed with Joe before we fall asleep. Those things should happen everyday. How else would we gear up and unwind? Every phone call, he suggests that I take more “me time”.
What does he mean? I have “me time”! I only work at the restaurant 4 days a week! True. But I have a schedule set for every second that I am not working there. And you know what? None of it involves taking a walk in the park, shopping at an antique store for a neat pair of earrings or a decoration for the house, going to see a movie by myself, venturing into the city for a unique fitness class, visiting family, or writing in a journal (my blog doesn’t count). I know myself, and I know that I am a much better person when I am able to treat myself right first. If I allow myself time for me, I am a better girlfriend, daughter, friend, and server. We all need to treat ourselves right before we are able to treat others right.
Joe says that I am a routine person and that’s why I am having trouble with this new schedule. But, really, it’s because I have fallen into a place where I feel like I have to do these things. I’ve forgotten why I am where I am today and am losing my love for things I once knew were my passion. My health coach suggested that I will find a new way to love those things again once I give myself that time.
So what am I going to do? Start small, because obviously I don’t do well with fast and rapid change. I am going to try to take an hour a day for about 5 days out of the week to do things I wouldn’t normally do. I want to say that it is impossible to do it every day of the week, but it’s not. It’s just impossible right now in my mind, but eventually it can happen.
Starting today: it took me one hour to write this blog post and I already feel a load taken off my chest. Guess what? I’m going to add an some additional time, too! I’m done for the day, no more laundry and no more studying! I’m sort of craving fro-yo!
Happy Monday, all!
- Do you have any ideas for daily “me time”?